I’m on day 29 – best I’ve been for a long time, I can’t remember when. The sponsorship thing is going great. I’ve raised a lot of money for child line. I’m using my evenings to create a children’s book to educate younger children about childhood sexual abuse – so they are empowered to tell someone, so they can start to heal way before I ever got the chance to. Maybe I can help one person – perhaps even just myself. I’ve found a children’s illustrator, and it’s really good to be working on this, feels productive.
I had a drinking dream last night – it’s strange as I used to usually get then in the first week or so when I stopped drinking, this is the first one I’ve had after 4 weeks so i think it was like a gentle reminder of why I am doing this – I was filled with shame, guilt and anxiety in the dream. My tooth was wobbling, I stayed up drinking and talking till 6.30 am then had to drive to work at 7 am…still drunk…something I used to worry about (though I’ve never done a 6.30 am for about 15 years….it was a gentle reminder like I said and waking up full of dread and then realizing it was a dream was good, I need to stay on this path.