Still loving this new path I am on. This new lifestyle change and choice I have made to stop harming myself with alcohol. I have found my thoughts starting to wander towards other ways to be destructive however which isn’t comfortable. I know I’m just looking for a new addiction. Ones that my brain considers for example could be taking up vaping…now that’s not the end of the world but also spending money I don’t need and not setting a great example for my kids.
Or becoming obsessed with food or fitness again- I’ve found myself asking around for ephedrine pills which I know I would abuse and rely on and could kill me…so no. It’s the fat thoughts I think booze took away for me. But what do the fat thoughts cover up for me????
I Honestly don’t know the answer but I’m working on it. Last week I wanted to drink for the first time in ages after having a deep conversation with my sister-I text her about wanting to, and I didn’t and I felt great the next day. A temporary release for a lifetime of pain