I’m back – the struggle is real

Ok – well, THIS is day 1, how many days can I say that? This truly is day 1, I’m joining an online AA, I’ve set myself an open challenge and made it public so I can’t change my mind and ‘start next week’. I will post in the story here EVERYDAY. Nothing new, nothing terrible has happened, but the same binge drinking once a week (sometimes twice) is dragging me down. I just don’t want it. I just want to be free. Alcohol is not an option I have now, it is never a choice I can make – because I am making this choice now. I’m calling the challenge 365 sober happy days – but I know after 365 I will go on, I just need that number to set a bench mark.

Here is the link to the fundraiser if anyone can spare even a single pound/ dollar

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/365soberdays

Ride it out

I’ve been thinking o only tend to come here for a pity party and kind gentle words of reassurance after a binge night- so I’m putting this out there tonight. I want to have a bottle of wine tonight. I wanted to have one last night. I didn’t and I felt so happy that I didn’t but it is uncomfortable sitting with this. I realised I was “going to take the recycling to the shop” simply as a way for my brain to make it one step easier for me to cave….so the recyclables wait…do you find yourself making excuses to pop out when you know you shouldn’t?

I’m trying to think why I want to drink and at the money I think it is just habit. I promised my nearly 13 year old I wouldn’t drink in the house so who am I to break that promise. I’m on a 12 day streak now…. I can do this!!!!